i used to think that my mom is perfect.. she can pack us breakfast before school, do dinner everytime she went back from work, she even do all the house chores. I used to dream i could be super mom like her too when i have kid on my own one day.

so when irfan is born, i feel like the urge of perfectionist.. i need to do everything perfect for him.. i read every books, every website about parenting and i feel responsible to obey every rules. and there are peer pressure when people around you keep telling you what and what not to do. it is not easy.. as first mom.. even my husband and i have few misunderstanding about it.

it is not easy, i keep thinking if i am good mother as i wish i will be. will i be bad mother if i give him pacifier, am i bad for letting him cry out loud and the list are endless!

but

as irfan grows up, i find that he is a happy kid as he is.. he will be happy when i just hug him, he will be just happy if i come back home with his biggest smile, he is happy to call me as his mama

and make me realize maybe i am trying too hard on myself

and maybe i should stop thinking to be perfect

I am irfan’s perfect mom, at least in his eyes and that should be enough:)

i love your irfan more than you know